This is CJ.
We are in a long distance relationship and don’t get to see each other in person a whole lot. So this past week when he came to visit me in Pittsburgh, I was so excited! I wanted to take him everywhere and show him everything.
But I couldn’t.
CJ was born with Cerebral Palsy and to get around he uses crutches or a wheelchair.On our “date day” I thought I would take him to this part of the city that has this great overlook and we could get lunch, but we had to pass up three different diners before finding one where CJ was even able to get into the door. Later that evening we went to see a friend play a concert and before then decided to just hang out in town. We couldn’t stop by the record store because of a massive step to get in. We couldn’t stop by the ice cream shop because of the narrow entry way and no room to fit his chair at a table. Even to get into the concert venue we had to dangerously pop a wheely with his chair to get him in the door. I can tell you countless similar stories. And you know, CJ would apologize to me for these things. He would genuinely feel bad, like he was holding me back - like it was his fault all of these shop owners decided not to take the time or effort to consider his existence when opening their business. And I can’t even tell you how much that broke my heart.
MY FRIENDS, I AM URGING YOU TO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF CREATING ACCESSIBLE ENVIRONMENTS!! When buildings are not accessible, that is like having a big sign on the door saying “People with disabilities are not welcome here” Be aware of your surroundings. Promote the creation of accessible environments everywhere you go. Educate yourselves on the realities of ableism, and be part of a movement to create a more fair environment for all of our fellow human beings.
Thank you for taking the time to read <3
spirit-of-a-mermaid asked: When are you and Ron going to make new episodes for Cerebral Conversations?
Cerebral Conversations is on an indefinite hiatus. For a few unfortunate reasons: One, I just don’t have the money to invest into getting more storage for the videos. It was a lot of strain on my macbook and imovie is unbelievably sluggish. I don’t have the money to invest in Final Cut. I am also going back to college in the Fall and in the process of trying to move to Pittsburgh in the near future to be with my girlfriend, Alyssia (and still working on my upcoming book. We were also running out of ideas for shows and were getting very little fan interaction. It seems that Cerebral Conversations has run its course for now. Maybe, I will resurrect it in the future. but for right now it just doesn’t seem like the best investment of my time and creative energies I really am honored by and cherish every fan so I am still available to anyone that is need of my insight or someone to listen to them. I am more than willing to interact and and still be a part of all The Cerebral Conversationists lives. I am so very thankful for the experience I had making this show. I hope all the fans will still want to keep in touch. You small but mighty few.
kellsinlalaland asked: Ha! I just read your last post. I was on a dating site for awhile and the guy said I just recently went to this museum and they said that most diagnosed cases of CP in the 1020's were misdiagnosed and the people were perfectly fine and I should maybe get another opinion, yes because I am not living in modern technology and my mother didn't take me to other doctors. anyways just thought I would share. I was also saved in a walmart parking lot once. We all have these stories!
Yeah, Ron, my co host on Cerebral Conversations, was asked by a new doctor if he was really sure he had Cerebral Palsy. I think people really just have trouble accepting bodies as non conventional and seemingly broken. It causes discomfort and it’s a lot easier to deny it rather than to accept it and rethink the way we construct our society based on perception of body and ability.
while waiting in line at the bank a man asked me if I was born during an eclipse and that’s why I was “that way.”
This is my girlfriend Alyssia. Earlier today she wrote this about her struggle with anxiety: “needs to be said, so people don’t take my actions the wrong way, and understand how much I do love them and appreciate them.
Being social is really hard for me. I don’t think it always was, but it has been for a while. Talking to strangers is one of the scariest things for me to do. It brings up so much anxiety in me that most of the time going out just isn’t worth it. When you invite me to your parties, and shows, and groups, so much of me really really wants to come. I promise you. But if I am not assured that I will have a safe person that I am comfortable with next to me the entire time, the amount of anxiety that situation brings up in me really is a lot- so much that it is really hard to make myself go. One of the only things that forces me to go is knowing that someone is dependent on me being there - for instance giving someone a ride or promising to bring food.
I’m working on this. I’m trying to be brave. But I still fail a lot. And I want you all to know that I love you and do really want to go to all of the things that you invite me to. I’m not ignoring you and I don’t by any means think I am too cool for your events. It is just hard.
I am so proud that mot only did she fight through her anxiety and show up to a party full of strangers, but stayed for an hour and a half. As someone who has also struggled with anxiety and depression she is a rock and inspired me everyday. I have never felt so honored to share life with someone. She truly proves that love will not be defeated.you can have the joy of following her blog here
I went to an open casting call to audition for an upcoming TV pilot starring Stephen Baldwin (The Usual Suspects, BioDome) being filmed in my city of Rockford, IL, listed 11th most violent and 3rd most miserable city in America. pictured above is me with actor, Stephen Baldwin. You can support this project via kickstarter here and help my city become a community again
I went to an open casting call to audition for an upcoming TV pilot starring Stephen Baldwin (The Usual Suspects, BioDome) being filmed in my city of Rockford, IL, listed 11th most violent and 3rd most miserable city in America. pictured above is me with actor and musician, John Schlitt (Petra, Head East) You can support this project on kickstarter here and help my city become a community again
Gotta say I am feeling ready for another acting audition after this haircut.
The Running Search turned 3 today! I can’t believe it’s been three years! It’s hard to believe I started my blog three years ago. It’s not a very popular blog but I am very humbled by the people who do read, watch, and respond. I am not a very important man in this world but to know that I can bring importance to others by making a choice to live and breathe in moments of weakness and imperfection; and it is an absolute gift. Thank you to all of those that follow The Running Search.